I’m a person who remembers a lot of dates. Some are just ridiculous. Some I wish I couldn’t remember at all – like those tiny little dates when my mom went to hospice or I learned that my uncle died. I think I sometimes drive my family crazy by mentioning little dates. Over the past year, I’ve brought up small things like when we applied for foster care and when we received our license.
Last night my oldest, Sylvia, brought up a date. It really is a big point in our journey as a family. I hope that each year we can quietly reflect on it with joy. It was your typical summer activity – Vacation Bible School (VBS). However, it was the biggest surprise for me last year.
See, when we were getting near finalizing our foster license, I had one daunting thought in mind – VBS. The VBS at our church is large and hectic. It’s a lovely time of fun and fellowship, but it takes a lot of dedicated volunteers. When it looked like we would get our foster license in May, I literally prayed to ask not to get a placement until after VBS. I just didn’t understand how we could possibly take on all of the responsibilities. Not only would John and I be volunteering, but Sydney would be attending with a friend each night, and it ends pretty late. How would be possibly incorporate one or two more people? On top of that, these people wouldn’t know us well at all.
We met Sylvia and Nici toward the end of May. We had a few individual meetings with them to do fun things like bowling or manicures. They had come to the house a few times for dinner. The weekend before VBS they were coming to spend the night. When they heard us talking about VBS, they really wanted to see what it was like. They were too old to participate in the activities but could volunteer. We got permission for them to spend Monday night with us so that they could come to VBS and go home with us. We’d bring them back to their foster mom’s home on Tuesday.
It was an interesting evening. It went really well! The girls didn’t know anyone, except for one boy from their school. They were quiet but did what was asked. They seemed to really enjoy their time. The next day, they asked if they could volunteer all week. John called to ask their foster mom and she agreed. We voluntarily had them stay with us all week for VBS. (Be careful about what you pray!)
Throughout that week we got to know each other in a way that we most likely would not have otherwise. We got to share stories and preferences. We got to work together and rely on one another for something that was beyond our family. John even helped in crafts when he could, so the four of us were often working together during some pretty chaotic situations.
We came out of it with an appreciation and knowledge for each other we had previously had. Also, the girls got to know other people in the church. I saw men and women devote time and energy to my girls during a week that already requires so very much. They talked to the girls about hair products, movies, pop culture, and faith. It all had a place in gaining trust and reputability with the girls.
At the end of the week, Sylvia and Nici went back to their foster mom’s home. They moved in with us five days later. I remember how natural it felt because we’d already spent a week together – a week that was one of the most hectic and demanding of the year. We already had a relationship and knew some quirks about each of us.
Last night, as we sat in the activities room of the church waiting for VBS to start, Sylvia came into the room. She sat next to me and said: “that was so weird.” I asked her what she was referring to. She had gone to one of the back offices to leave something for my friend. When she was there, she saw several people she knew and they all greeted her with excitement. She said that a year ago for VBS she knew no one, and now she’s a very familiar face. The four of us split up for volunteering this year. As we sat in the living room after VBS, we all agreed it was weird not to be together. Imagine that. Such a sense of regret that we didn’t do “our tradition” when we’d only done it once anyway.
It’s amazing what some time will do. Things that seem daunting and impossible, can be our greatest memories. God will find a way to make it work for the good. That’s certainly what He did for us.